A presentation I gave on November 4th, 2015, in San Francisco for the Italiani di Frontiera Silicon Valley Tour lead by Roberto Bonzio.
Silicon Valley culture is different. We must be aware of cultural differences to have a successful business meeting. These are the 22 most important rules I presented in San Francisco in 2015 to ensure a successful business meeting! The rules remain 100% relevant.
The 22 Rules
Be on time, always!
No exceptions to this rule, whatsoever! If you are late because can’t handle predictable road traffic delays on the 101, then you probably will not be that good at handling complex business events.
Do your own homework, before the meeting!
Try to know as much as possible about people and companies you are going to meet and teh people you are going to target at the event or meeting.
Go into every business meeting with a goal and a clear plan!
Mental bullet points, objectives, constraints, list of key people.
If you hold different titles or roles, be clear which hat are you wearing for that meeting.
People need to know who is on the other side of the table. Don’t confuse them with too much information. In SV, holding too many business titles and roles is interpreted as a lack of focus.
If you need somebody’s opinion or help, be specific, ask questions, then carefully listen to the answer.
Most of the time there is no point in stating that you hold a different opinion. Business conversations are not about expressing your opinions, are about making progress toward your tactical goals.
Never claim you are doing business only out of passion.
This is America. The only goal of a businessperson or businessman is money! Do you want to change the world? First, you’re going to need a lot of money.
Don’t interrupt when people are talking! Don’t talk over.
Doesn’t matter if that is acceptable and tolerated with your buddies in Italy, in US it isn’t. Interrupting people is perceived as a rude behavior.
Don’t downplay your achievements and accomplishments, but please, no BS.
Americans always emphasize their accomplishments and they expect you to do the same. They don’t understand false modesty. At the same time they don’t like bullshit.
Always reply to business emails within 24 hours. If you can’t reply right away, acknowledge receipt, then follow up with a complete answer.
This is the golden rule. If you break this rule you are out! Every communication requires some form of acknowledgement.
Business dinners or drinks: it may look like a social occasion but it’s still business!
You are not there to eat or drink, you are there to do business. Stir away fro sensitive topics, keep the small talk to a minimum and always remember your tactical goals.
In a business meeting nobody around you is your buddy.
Be friendly but don’t play like you are a buddy. Don’t confuse kindness and curtesy with familiarity. If you appear to be too relaxed and informal, people will think you don’t know what you are doing.
Nobody owes you anything!
You can get a lot from people, but you must always be nice to them. Ask politely, and don’t be pushy or aggressive. The level of verbal or behavioral pressure Californians accept is very low, much lower than Italians.
Always be aware that you are dealing with a different culture and playing with different rules.
Don’t make assumptions! Your assumptions could be dangerously wrong. Don’t criticize appearances, or behaviors just because you never encountered them before. People in Silicon Valley think, talk and behave differently from your home town.
Americans have a concept of “Personal Space” different than Italians.
Body contact is off-limits, unless you receive from the other person a strong and clea signal. Don’t get too close to a person unless you get an explicit signal or their explicit permission. The threshold of how close you can get to stranger is usually at 50-70 cm.
Don’t confuse “Thinking out of the Box” with “Breaking the Law.”
Americans love to play by the rules and are suspicious of anybody with a different attitude. Borderline legal shortcuts are not appreciated.
You can be critical about your country, but don’t be negative when talking with others. Americans are patriotic, and they expect everybody else to be patriotic.
It is not cool to say bad things about your own country. In general, be always positive in your conversations and refrain from expressing negative opinions.
If somebody offers you a favor or a deal that doesn’t match your needs, thank them politely but clearly, stating that your objective is different.
In Italy, you can signal your lack of enthusiasm in many nonverbal ways. In the US, you don’t have enough understanding of the local culture to send a similarly clear nonverbal message. Make sure there are no misunderstandings. Typically at the end of a meeting you can propose a short summary just to make sure that everybody got everything right.
Be prepared for small talk, but keep it to a minimum.
Small talk is part of the protocol. Engage other people with trivial chit-chats, but do not overdo it.
Never make a joke if there is even a tiny possibility that it could be interpreted as an ethnic, racial, sexual, or religious reference.
Americans, and in particular Californians, can be extremely sensible to bad jokes. When talking to Californians, unless you are with very-close friends, you must always be 100% politically correct and respectful of diversities.
If you have bad or unpleasant news to share, be nice but explicit! Don’t bury your head in the sand.
If you change your mind about a project, a deal or a hiring, tell the other part ASAP. Explain your change of mind in a nice and respectful way, leave the door open for future collaboration and thanks the other side for their interest. Ignoring the problem will only make it worst. And it will destroy your relationships.
Follow up! Always!
Follow up emails, meeting, conversations. This must become part of your daily routine. American expect and appreciate follow ups!
Before attending a networking event or meeting, ensure your LinkedIn profile is updated and well-organized.
Your LinkedIn profile is your resume and your business card. After a meeting, people with some interest in you, your ideas, or your company will check your profile on LinkedIn. Be prepared.
Franco Folini Blog 
Franco,
This is an awesome article very well written with every point spot-on!! I think that these things should be practiced here as well between people who do business.
Naresh
I agree 100%. There is a need for Italians to upgrade their (our) business culture. The current way of running meetings, doing business is very ineffective.